Destruction is a Part of Creation

WARNING: the following images be be disturbing to some viewers... even though there is no actual flesh and bone gore, blood, or other icky things. Alternatively, the following may be greatly amusing for others. I have tried hard to refrain myself from using too much dark humor in an effort to not frighten my audience for fear that they'll stop talking *to* me and instead talk *about* me behind my back in hushed whispers and darting eyes.

I have come to realize that some may look at what I do and be slightly disturbed. The artistic process is not always pretty no matter what your medium, but non more-so than those who customize pre-existing models. The erie images of a seemingly alert and vital beloved animals with missing parts or dislocated appendages (such as heads) evokes feelings that horror movies spend millions of dollars to achieve.

One has to tread a fine line of imagining where muscles and bones would be so as to achieve understanding and correctness, while distancing themselves so that they don't take it so seriously when they're cutting heads, legs, backs and private parts. It's just part of the job to reshape and replace so that a piece can reach it's full potential. The path to get there however takes some curiouser and curiouser turns.

As one of my friends said... "SHOOT IT!"

I am mostly immune to everything I do by now. Yes it's fun to "pretend" you're a mad scientist and the supply of jokes never end as one plays with disembodied parts. The reality of it is: well, it *is* funny! But it is *PLASTIC.* Cellulos Acetate or Polyurethane Resin. They don't have feelings or genders or even species. Just shape. But in it's own twisted way, it's fun to assign these things to inanimate objects (it helps us connect with them later when they are finished and beautiful) just because humans are hardwired to take things a part to figure out what makes them tick. It also is a great outlet for frustrations. No greater therapy than that!

However, every time a head is whacked off, someone inevitably makes a joke about it being used as a homage to The Godfather. And you look at this picture and you tell me that it doesn't make you giggle just a little bit and remind you of someone doing the funky chicken.

Don't worry, I fixed her and she became something quite beautiful:

Granted, not all models get to become the glory of what they once were or could have been. But those pieces do serve a greater purpose: they teach. Each piece I start is just like it was my first. I have to plan and figure out how to do each step for what will help that model. I will say when I first started, I thought this business was positively easy! I could whip up a custom in an afternoon, how fun! But as I began to take on knowledge, my models started looking worse and worse. Take this Proud Arabian Mare as an example:

Oh yes. This was a model I did. The neck is atrociously long! And if you can believe it, I have done even far worse before, I just don't have pictures on my computer anymore. You can tell it's old by the bad image quality, back when digital cameras were just starting to be a "really big thing." I sold her unfinished I think, and the only reason I have a picture of it is because I found it on some random "let's make fun of these fugly models" site. Considering when I *did* post this online the first time I was looking for critiques, I do feel slightly hurt that someone would steal it to make fun of it secretly instead of constructively criticizing for my benefit. Looking at her now, I do cringe, but take comfort in the fact I do better now.

Now, people have asked me if any of this stuff DOES distrub me. Well, there is one...

This was to be a pissed off mare going to bite a heardmate while she kicked another. This model scared me for two reasons: 1.) I slipped while trying to carve off her forlock and sliced my finger open DEEP, a distinct scar I still bear to this day. 2.) Her open mouth. I don't care how correct it is to do this (as the hinge of the jaw is far up on a horse's head) but that gaping crocodile mouth gives me the willies. It ALWAYS looks wrong and even after you patch it up, it doesn't look normal again until you get primer on it and hide the lines of the cut. I eventually sold her as is. I magine this is how other non-model, non-artist types view any chopping up I do.

All in all though, I wouldn't give this up for the world and I feel so blessed I was granted a sight that I can vizualize what a piece will become and not what it is. Not everyone can look at something so mutilated and know that it will be all right in the end, one just has to be patient.